Here Is Mike Lindell Trying On Tinfoil Hats Because HE'S NOT CRAZY, K?

Don’t we all have a massive tinfoil hat collection? By massive, that would make the collection any more than one because why would you even need one? Like you, I only wear mine when I’m going for an insanity defense before I lose every cent my former drug-addicted ass has. We’re talking about MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell, of course.

First, let’s wrap our heads around why Lindell would throw his fortune away. You can’t? Me neither. He was the American Dream, a self-made multimillionaire and infomercial superstar who launched his MyPillow empire from scratch in 2004 while he was addicted to drugs. If he can make it, anyone can. Holy fuckballs, he left behind a world of drug abuse and became a Rags To Riches guy. I was an addict for years. A lot of years. And let me tell you how nearly impossible his accomplishment was. I could write a book about his one incredible feat. Instead, I’m writing a post on Crooks & Liars. More on that another time. Or not!

So, why throw it away on a guy who isn’t a self-made multimillionaire? Is it the lure of the twice-impeached one-term president’s 6-foot-3″ tall, 215-pound athletic body? Is it because he’s a Stable Genius? WHAT IS IT?

Lindell sort of touched on that subject after trying to pronounce ‘conspiracy theorist’ several times.

“It was a beautiful ruling, everybody, and I’ve been able to take off my tin hat here,” Lindell explained about all the funny hats in front of him. “But people have been calling, they go, you know, you looked really good on that.”

What did you forget to do, Mike? That’s right, you forgot to give us a code for a discount. What a nut.

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