Man Facing 91 Felonies Vows To Bring 'Very Powerful Crime' To DC

Donald Trump, who is facing 91 felonies after being indicted four times and being found liable for sexual assault, made a bold confession to Fox News’s Laura Ingraham. And please, if anyone mentions President Joe Biden’s mental acuity after this, I’m going to get really stabby. Maybe slashy, even! Trump vowed to bring “very powerful crime” back to Washington, DC, and we believe him.

“No, we’re going to take over Washington, D.C., we’re going to federalize, we’re going to have very powerful crime, and you’re going to be proud of it again,” Donald vowed.

It sounds like he’s promising to take over Washington, D.C., because someone hurt his feelings. It doesn’t work that way, you weirdo.

Social media users weighed in.

Keep talking, bonehead.

Yeah, I think I’ll stick with the guy who stutters.

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