Ted Cruz Takes It To A Whole New Level Of Cringe

After Satruday Night Live had Scarlett Johansson come on the show to mock Katie Britt’s cringeful rebuttal to Biden’s State of the Union address, she jointed Ted Cruz on his podcast. Apparently, they don’t have anything better to do, like learning how to govern or anything.

But as cringeful as Britt’s rebuttal was, Cruz made it look good by opening a whole new level of cringe by openly drooling over Johansson and then complaining that no one good looking ever portrayed him:

On his podcast, Cruz said he was jealous that Britt was portrayed on SNL by a “gorgeous” Hollywood star, and wondered why SNL doesn’t seek out such glamour when they want to portray him.

“The thing that is the coolest is that you’re played by Scarlett Johansson. OK, Katie, look. To be candid, Scarlett Johansson is hot. And I am genuinely jealous because SNL has come after me a bunch of times, they don’t ever have Tom Cruise play me. How come you get a gorgeous movie star?” Cruz said.

Cruz went on to say that at least Britt was portrayed by someone of her own sex.

“At least you were played by a woman, I’ve also been played by a woman. They cast Aidy Bryant as me and she is funny,” Cruz said.

As for his falling all over himself over Johansson, I’m sure every woman wants a pudgy, spineless coward lusting after them.

Furthermore, if you want someone famous portraying you, they have to look a little like you. That’s why Cruz will never have a Tom Cruise or a Kurt Russell portraying you. But if you’re lucky, they might be able to score the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters. But if he’s busy, I hear that Jabba the Hutt from Star Wars hasn’t had a gig in decades.

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